Odin

Red Threads

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Trigger Warning: Suicide Ideation, Implied Suicide attempt.

Here I lay on Jord’s cold, dark corpse. 
Her body unwelcoming and unloving. 

Here I lay bleeding out. 
Gasping for breath. 
No strength to struggle, no will for life. 
Hel’s shadow looming in close. 

My arms, wounded in their length. 
Bleeding out in ribbons, my eyes heavy with sleep. 
Your figure appears before me, dark and obscured.  
I watch I as my life, pools crimson at Your feet. 

You kneel and whisper “not this day.” 
You cut into Your own arm, a deep gash. 
It flows, Your life’s essence. 
Now it mixes with mine. 

You dig deep into my wound and pull from it a pulsing ribbon. 
The pain is searing, yet You still pull. 
I gasp and writhe as You hold my thread. 
My pounding pulse now in Your hand. 

You take from Yourself, Your own vital fiber. 
And with that You stitch my wound. 
You take mine and close Yours. 
The bleeding now halted. 

I still gasp for life. 
You gently bring Your lips to mine. 
And share Your breath of life with me. 
You brought me back from the brink, I breath once more. 

No more do I cling to this life but love it. 
You saved me from my own encroaching darkness. 
You lent me Your strength, Your will. 
I am grateful. 

I am grateful, My love. 
My dear Havi.

The Tree

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I once dreamt of a tree, a large sprawling tree. Its branches reached into the heavens high, and its gnarled roots deep into the earth below. I looked upon the tree and there I beheld a figure swaying from one of its branches obscured by a blanket of mist. 

As the mists begin to fade; the figure became clear. Oh! How beautiful, how morbid, His visage was. It filled my mind with awe, and my heart with sorrow. He hung by noose and bloodied with His holiest red. I watched as it flowed down His magnificent gaunt form. I stood beneath Him.

With trembling arms and an aching, that I could not control, I reached for Him. As I did, I heard Him speak. “You cannot save everyone from their tree. Some hang willingly, while others are forced, and some hang unknowingly.” My arms fall, I only wished to offer comfort, but I know He is right; I cannot save everyone.

My mind knows that His sacrifice was His own. Himself to Himself; His sacrifice, but my heart ached regardless. His crimson sap trickled down upon my upturned face. I wiped it away, smearing it across my lips. The bittersweet liquid lingered on my lips and tongue, then I am filled with visions of far-off lands.

Visions of clashing warriors on bloodied fields, women draped in silk giving their love to brave heroes. I am bombarded by these images, inspired by His sacred ichor. He has given me the honor; the honor of sampling something precious. Was this the wine in which gives the skalds their wordsmithing gifts? The Hanged God had indeed shared something with me, and it honored, blessed, and humbled me, and I am forever grateful

A Loving Pressure

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I find my back pressed against a hardness. 
I see You, my Frenzied King. 
Pressing me against it. 
You warned me. 
Warned me of the stagnation. 
You left me with words, but they went unheard. 

I struggle underneath. 
Yet You do not budge an inch. 
Still, You hold me firmly. 
I became Your willing victim. 
I know the punishment to come. 
Is nothing but Your ferocious love. 

You pierce my chest with a blunt blade.
With words I could not bear to hear, words I wish not to hear. 
They are words I need to hear. 
As they roll from Your lips, they cut deeper. 
The wounds they leave, leave a revelation in their wake. 

In Your conclusion. 
You leave me to contemplate this lashing. 
As my will returns, I feel a fire burning. 
Burning the stillness, burning away the doubt. 
And I can move forward once more.

Seeking

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When I heard Your call, I was curious. 
So, I sought You out. 

I was met with the cacophony of fearful cries. 
Terrified whispers and dark warnings. 
Angry shouts and hateful words.

Not to seek You. 
Not to heed Your call. 
Not to listen to Your beckoning.

I was warned.
You were dangerous. 
Cold, cruel, and ruthless. 
Your brutality knew no bounds. 

You took delight in brutalizing and torturing, 
breaking and manipulating, all those that serve You.
Taking with a greedy hand and only leaving an empty void. 

That You were a god meant only for men, kings, and warriors. 
Not for those who are kind, curious, and loving. 
Or even women and anyone in between. 

I was warned. 
I would be eviscerated, broken, and crushed. 
Left a shattered shell with no hope of recovery. 

I persisted. 
I found myself swept up by Your wit and Your charm. 
Your curiosity and Your love. 

You are not just black and white. 
Nor are You grey. 
But an array of colors; I never expected to see. 

Oh, how I have come to love and adore You. 
My beloved Raven God.

Divine Lover

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Oh, my beloved, how I love You so. 
I love all of You. 
From Your beautiful sky-blue eye to Your soft as fleece beard. 
I love all Your flaws and quirks, all Your ways, the good and bad. 

How I love You so. 
You came and stole my heart away. 
You hold it in Your hand, for it is Yours. 
If You had to take all of me as sustenance, I would gladly let You devour me so completely. 
Take the beats of my heart, 
The air from my lungs, 
The sight from my eyes,  
The tongue from my mouth. 
You could have it all if it would sate Your hunger. 

My mind is Yours to possess. 
Make me think only of You. 
As my mind is filled with dearest memories of You. 
The nest You have built there, is Yours. 
You rest so comfortably. 

My Body is Yours. 
To do what You will. 
Drink me in and take Your fill. 
In hopes that it sates Your thirst. 
For I am Yours, now and forever. 
Oh, my beloved, how I love You so

Drowning

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God of the Wise 
God of the Warrior 
God of the Poet 

I’ve felt Your fury. 
Tasted Your wine. 
Held at spear point. 

And yet here I am. 
They said I would be broken, 
Would be rent asunder. 
Left with nothing but a bleeding that would never heal. 
That You held no love, no kindness. 
Naught even a bit of compassion. 

But I have felt Your love. 
Raging and ferocious. 
Your love is like a crashing wave. 
You are relentless, refusing to abate. 

No matter how I thrash, struggle, and cry. 
You do not relent, You will not. 

I am sinking, drowning. 
Yet I feel Your firm grasp. 
You refuse to let me sink. 

You pull me up. 
Then with all the kindness of a storm, You shove my being back under. 
Again, I sink and again You push and pull. 
Until I can no longer bear it. 

I reach for Your hand, rather than waiting. 
I grip You with all my might.  
You help me rise through the waves. 
Through all the darkness and doubts. 
Through all the sorrows and stillness. 

You have helped me break the surface, 
To stand on my own. 
To stand next to You.

Odin Prayer No. 2

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God of Wisdom, 
Master rune carver. 
Thrust Your divine blade, 
Deep within my writhing being. 
Fill me with Your seed of knowing. 
Share with me Your fury. 
Whet Your appetite with my every cry. 
Take Your fill of my body and mind. 
Leave me begging for more, 
Yet give nothing more than what You will. 
So, take me for all I am. 
As I belong only to You.

Prayer to Odin

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You can find a gender neutral, causal version of this prayer here. 

To You, I hail, my God of Wisdom and of Madness. 
I have seen You as a friend and confidant. 
I have learnt from You, as both a father and mentor. 
I have felt You as both a lover and partner. 

All that I ask of You, is that You hear my prayer. 
A prayer for courage and fortitude. 
A prayer for wisdom and inspiration. 

Your presence is one of euphoria. 
Please, I ask that You penetrate me, with Your mighty ever-ready spear. 
Fill me with Your ecstasy, Your passion. 
Letting it flow forth and drive me mad. 

I submit myself to You, as a willing sacrifice. 
I have accepted Your brand with pride. 
With the pride of a fierce warrior. 
With the love of a devoted wife. 

I will submit to Your granted maddening inspiration, letting it run wild and untamed. 
I will wield its force like a mighty hammer and use it to tear down all that impede my path. 
Leaving nothing standing in my wake. 

To You, I hail, All-Father

Prayer to Odin – An Alternative

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This one is an edited version of the original one. It is a gender neutral and more causal one. So anyone can use this if they so choose to.

To You, I hail, my God of Wisdom and of Madness. 
I have seen You as a friend and confidant. 
I have learnt from You, as both a father and mentor. 
I have loved You with a sibling’s affection. 

All that I ask of You, is that You hear my prayer. 
A prayer for courage and fortitude. 
A prayer for wisdom and inspiration. 

Your presence is one of euphoria. 
Please, I ask that You impale me, with Your mighty ever-ready spear. 
Fill me with Your ecstasy, Your passion. 
Letting it flow forth, driving me mad. 

I submit myself to You, as a willing sacrifice. 
I have accepted Your brand with pride. 
With the pride of a fierce warrior. 
With the love of a loyal companion. 

I will submit to Your granted maddening inspiration, letting it run wild, fierce and free. 
I will wield its force like a mighty hammer and use it to tear down all that impede my path. 
Leaving nothing standing in my wake. 

To You, I hail, All-Father

My Divine Beloved

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Oh, my King. 
My God of Wisdom. 
My God of Passion. 

I feel Your presence. 
Like a raging storm, Your love devours. 
Yet, Your lips taste of honey, sweet and smooth. 
Your hands are rugged and stern, yet soft and gentle. 
Your caress is warm and light, like Sunna’s rays on a spring day. 

You trace the curve of my neck. 
That leaves a trail of burning desire, across my skin. 
You stop just above my breast. 
You take back Your touch, and my body writhes without it. 

You smile. 
You revel in my cravings, in my begging, my lusting. 
I need You. I want You. 
I yearn for Your touch. 
I grasp for You, but You are beyond my reach. 

I feel You, like lightning. 
You thrust Your white-hot blade, deep within my being. 
You plunge again and again. 
I savor Your every thrust, Your every penetration. 
It sends me deeper into euphoria. 

You leave my chest heaving. 
My body aching and my heart quivering. 
I feel Your lips again, sweet and smooth. 
You return the breath You stole. 

You leave me again. 
Craving, yearning for Your touch, Your love. 
Oh, My King. 
My Divine Beloved.